I want to start by saying that I am not a therapist or an expert, just someone who has been on a journey of self-discovery for nearly 10 years. This post is a personal reflection on the subconscious mind, shaped by books, teachers, and conversations with friends.

If anything I share doesn’t sit right with you, or if you think I’ve got something wrong, let me know, I’m always learning.

What Is the Subconscious Mind?

The subconscious mind is like a second, hidden mind that runs in the background. It helps us function without thinking; smiling back at someone kind, pulling your hand away from something hot, it’s even the function that tells us to breathe; it’s fair to say, the subconscious has a lot on its plate. It’s constantly at work, but here’s the catch: because it operates beyond our conscious awareness, it doesn’t always incorporate all the available information.

When the Subconscious Resists Change

For example, imagine you’ve spent five years lying in on Sundays. One day, you decide you want to get up early for a walk. Your conscious mind is on board, but your subconscious resists, you wake up and automatically want to stay in bed. Why? Because your subconscious assumes that’s what you want, based on your past actions.

The subconscious runs off information it gathers from your actions, so to be fair, it’s seen you lie in bed for five years, this is what it presumes you would rather do. The trick here is to get up and show your subconscious mind who is boss, which is you, by the way. The subconscious gets the picture and notes that you’re happier during the day when you wake earlier on Sunday. Over time, it adjusts and stops resisting.

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The Power of the Subconscious Over Thoughts

This all seems easy, I guess? Change your habits, show the subconscious who’s in control, and redefine what your day looks like. 

This is true for actionable behaviours, with the right determination we can change how our subconscious mind can support us with new habits.

The trickier part is thoughts. We know the subconscious plays a big part in running our  thoughts. Running is the operative word here as it almost tells us what to think, how to act, without us noticing. We like that the subconscious takes control of our actions, without actively thinking about them. I’m not sure I want to be in charge of telling my lungs to breathe, it feels like a lot. But, going unnoticed, it could be running our mind with negativity, or quite frankly, a bad attitude. So we want to figure out ways we can reprogram the subconscious mind so that it still runs in the background but with positive energy; we want it’s ‘thoughts’ part to be the culture hire.

Self-Limiting Beliefs: Where Do They Come From?

A common idea in the well-being space is that self-limiting beliefs are formed in childhood. These beliefs sit in our subconscious, shaping our perception of ourselves:

“I’m not good at sports.”

“I’ll never have enough money.”

It is unlikely that anyone sat you in a room and repeatedly said, ‘You’re bad at sport,’ or intentionally made you feel like you won’t succeed. However, the smallest nuances in language can have a profound impact on our experience, especially as we’re learning about the world around us- and we all react differently to these triggers. Not being chosen to go on the better team can encourage some to work harder and others to cement an idea that they’re not good enough. Not affording the rent month-to-month can make someone feel physically poor and out of control, while for others, it can make them unwaveringly motivated to achieve a promotion.

The First Step: Awareness

Noticing your self-limiting beliefs is the first step. Try to spot self-limiting beliefs or opinions about yourself/others that don’t seem to have any evidence for the ‘now’ you. And if it is true, you don’t have much money or you’re not good at sport, there is a simple trick is to add yet to any negative thought and make it positive.

“I’m not good at sports… yet.”

“I don’t have the money… yet.”

That one word shifts your mindset from finality to possibility.

Taking Responsibility for Your Beliefs

The next step is to look at who you’re blaming for your thoughts. I spent, regrettably, many years with the narrative that elders in my life formed lots of my self-limiting beliefs. And maybe they did. But blaming them didn’t help me change them.

What did help was realising that as an adult, I had also created limiting beliefs for myself.

A friend once told me I was intimidating to meet. I suffered with social anxiety and I presume this quietness was misunderstood as being standoffish. But sure enough, I internalised this comment and decided that when people meet me, they probably don’t want to get to know me. I had made a self-limiting belief for me socially.

Once I saw that I had given that belief power, I realised I could take it away.

Knowing this can feel huge and overwhelming. Suddenly, everything you ‘know’ about yourself can be unwritten, rewritten and that can feel a parallel of daunting and energising.

The key thing here is to not overthink it but instead start going through your life questioning your thoughts. If any don’t ‘feel’ right or don’t bring you happiness, see if they’re even true.

From reading Tuesdays with Morrie, I am a firm believer in this process: when making decisions or choices, choose love. I know it sounds cliché, but if you’re ever stuck knowing what the right thing to do is, Morrie says to choose the ‘love’ option; either for you or others. Whichever choice gives the most love is always the right answer.

There are times when you can question your belief system more in-depth, perhaps through journaling, setting goals, or when making life choices. Just take a pause to question why your thoughts are thinking the way they do. Work out whether your conscious mind has got involved and if it has considered all the different things you’ve learnt along the way.

How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind

Since the subconscious learns from repeated experiences, you can reshape it by:

Challenging Your Thoughts – When a belief surfaces, ask: Is this really true?

Choosing Love Over Fear – When making decisions, pick the path that feels like it’s rooted in love, for yourself or others.

Pausing to Reflect – Whether through journaling, setting goals, or just thinking, take a moment to ask: Is my subconscious running on outdated programming?

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Final Thought

Remember: you are always operating based on what you know so far. Every moment, you’re learning, evolving, and gaining new insights. The next minute could bring a completely new perspective.

As The Verve says:
“I can change, I can change, but I’m here in my mold.”

But you don’t have to stay there.